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A little over two years ago, I sat with a dear friend over coffee(with Grace in tow) and we chatted about how wonderful it would be in two more years when Grace was finally in Kindergarten. I dreamt about the day that I would haul all three babes off to school, then come home to a quiet office and work. work work work. Hustling while they were at school to get things checked off the list and create a booming business, finally. I felt like every sentence out of my mouth about a growing business has started with, “When all the children are in school, I will finally…have time to…. work more, work better, be better, spend more time on the business, network, blog, do workshops, attend conferences, mentor. You name it, I probably said it.
Over those last two years, God has been working on my heart. Reminding me that I am good enough. That I have enough. That everything I have is His. I remember it was at the same coffee date mentioned above that the first thought of homeschooling was placed on my heart. I scoffed and shook my head. No thank you Lord, not for me. NEVER. In the mean time, we moved the kids from a good school to a great school. Surely, my convictions would go away when the kids were in the right place and of course I figured God had his hand in that. And to be honest, I really needed the conviction to go away. Grace was Kindergarden bound and this was MY time. Finally, I was going to prove to everyone how successful I could be.
The kids were doing beautifully in school. They are smart, loved by their peers and teachers and excelling in everything they do. We honestly could not ask for more. And we wouldn’t dare. Quite the opposite really. I was being asked for more. My convictions were not going away, they were only getting stronger. Field and I talked about it frequently and I wrestled with it constantly.
You know those moments in your life when there are 2 ways to do things? We all face them and despite the issue at hand, there is always a right and wrong. You feel it in the pit of your stomach. Everyone’s right and wrong is unique to them, and I would never challenge the way another person felt. That is rule #1 of humanity, do not judge.
I was really feeling challenged with the decision to do what I knew in my heart was going to be the most challenging, heart wrenching, selfless thing I could do and it was going to be an uphill climb. Even as I type this out, I am struggling with my thoughts. I have prayed and prayed and the only thing I know is that my convictions have been confirmed more times than I can count over the last several months.
So, yes, we are going to homeschool our children. We will be teaching them in our home, on the road and in our community. This is the beginning of a journey I would have never have predicted for myself or our family. And I am scared to death. We will take everything one day at a time. Live and love in the present. We will instill in our children a love for learning, education and exploration. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to spend everyday with our children and raising them with one goal in mind: that they will be happy and healthy. I will continue working for our photography business, however, it will not be the measure of my success. My focus is on Payton, Beau and Grace. I have spent the last 5 years growing a business, but we have spent the last 8 years raising our children. A gift so much more precious than our business. Their happiness, health and love for others will be my only measure of success from now on.
We are not asking that you agree or disagree. We do ask though, that you think of us from time to time and ask us how we are doing. We are starting in July of this Summer and we hope you will follow our adventures.