The Reality: Can’t Stop the Feeling (Part 1)

The Farmhouse

“The first step into the house and I was charmed. The old wood floors, retro kitchen and built ins had me hooked already. It felt stable and well built.”  – Karie from The Search: Are Unicorn Ninjas a thing

Thats where we left off, right as I was walking into the house.  The front room was nice, I could picture a new West Elm couch that Field would love the look of, and hate the price of, next to our adorable Peabody midcentury chairs (ours look way better 😉 ).  I walk into the kitchen and it is straight out of a old “American Look” video put together by General Motors.  It has wonderful character, a built in double oven, a beautiful stainless steel range hood, some nice woodwork above the cabinets.  The dinning room area had an adorable built in with a window in the middle. The floors were an original wood, that cleaned up would look amazing! In the Kitchen and dining area there was what looked like cork board flooring, but the rooms were decent size.  The bathrooms were a little small, but the character was showing through.  I was absolutely smitten.  I could picture a redone kitchen, these wood floors showing off their beauty and style after some sanding and a new finish.  I could picture our family hanging out in the kitchen each morning, as breakfast was on the range top while Field built furniture and fence in the garage.

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My heart was filling up with all the possibilities for this adorable farm house.  We left the house and I couldn’t wait to return.  I knew I was flying home that night, but I had to come back and see it… Field HAD to see it.  I talked with the realtor and he agreed to let me come see it right when I got back.  That was Wednesday night, and I had tickets to come back Saturday with the kids.  I was going to stay for a week, get the house closed asap, and set up everything we needed for renovations.  I had a vision for this house, and for our lives in it.  Nothing was going to stop us from making this 1958 farmhouse our home.

Saturday night to Sunday morning… I didn’t sleep much.  I was too excited, all the waiting was finally over.  The long hours searching, the constant disappointments, they were over.  We were ready to make our move.  Somehow while thinking of all of the possibilities for our family, I fell asleep.  The sleep didn’t last long at all, as I was up early in the morning to get one more look at the house.  As I was driving up to the property I FaceTimed Field.  I couldn’t wait to show him the inside, the garage “oh, you are going to love your new garage” I remember saying, but I never got to show him the garage.

You know how some feelings are fleeting?  You know the ones, where you are on cloud 9, and then all of the sudden you are slammed back to to Earth, smack dab in the middle of a mess.  Slowly at first, and then all of the sudden I was quickly reminded what that felt like.  I remember the house being dirty, but this day it felt different.  There was dirt and junk everywhere.  “The inside couldn’t have been this dirty”, I thought out loud.  That feeling just kept getting stronger.  Don’t get me wrong I was still blown away by the possibilities, but all of the sudden I started to seriously doubt this decision.  The doubt that forced me to walk away from so many other properties, in so many other cute towns in North East Texas.

The bugs… we don’t have bugs like this in Arizona.  There were wasps nest everywhere, like they were the only things that had lived there for the past year.  I quickly found out they weren’t.  There was a huge spider in the small laundry area, so big I could barely bring myself to look at it.  As I turned around I saw what looked like a arachnid/lizard murder scene.  A lizard was missing its tail, some fingers, and looked like it suffered during its last moments, and the huge spider next to it didn’t fair much better.  The lizard was the size of a dollar bill!  Now that may not sound that big, but take out a dollar… that is a decent sized lizard.  The back shed had a spider on it that I’m pretty sure could take me in a one on one fight to the death.  There was a hole that went under the back building that probably had something terrifying living in it, like a possum or a skunk.  I couldn’t bring myself to look.  I could hear Field on the other side, he was encouraging me to go in, that everything would be okay, but I couldn’t.  I was scared, and I needed him.

So now I’m stuck… and I’m defeated.  I can’t move forward.  I mean, I physically cannot bring myself to walk past this spider, and all of the sudden I feel like I’m making a huge mistake.  I am way over my head, I’ve gone basic and I can’t even… (to be continued)

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